Where am I today,some may ask, I actually don't feel much different than I did last week. Yes I have had my first chemo treatment, as well as my first 5 days of radiation treatment. The effects of these treatments don't happen immediately, they build up over time is what I am finding. The nurses warned me that a lot of the side effects do not show till after the 2nd week of treatment. So it is still a waiting game in most ways.
The first side effects to show up is the change in taste! Coffee no longer taste good, and I have been warned won't taste normal till my system is cleared a couple of weeks after treatment. This is taking some getting used to, and maybe I do drink too much coffee at times these days. In fact most all food is not what I would call decent tasting at all. It sort of reinforces the, "I'm not really hungry" attitude that is common for people going through chemo. I do like eating, so I should be able to overcome this problem.
Not much else to say, yet. Yes I am needing to nap more often. No my energy is not great, though it has been good this weekend as I have both days off from treatment. So I have been enjoying the weekend.
Monday will restart the therapy as well as have my second chemo treatment. And another week will begin, that I will find my way to the other side…
Thanks for all the wonderful thoughts, you are all terrific!
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| Last Light |
What is this darkness that I am speaking of…
Some of you already know, yet a better understanding of what I have before me is now mine. No, I do not have all the answers. The true knowing will not be mine till the journey has been completed. And even then, all may not be understood.
On my 58th birthday, I was informed that I have a cancerous tumor in the lower third
of my esophagus. The actual type is called Adenocarcinoma, which is what the cancer that can form in our mucus forming tissues is called. It is the most common form of esophagul cancer. Did not make for a good birthday, but honestly it may become a great gift.
As of today, it has been 22 days and I can finally put out some solid information of what I have as well as what I may have before me. After all the test in the past couple of weeks, there is no current sign of cancer in any other part of my body. It is only located in this tumor, and that is the truly wonderful news. Now that does't mean that there are not any isolated cells of cancer elsewhere in my body. Just no collections or detectable groupings at this time. The journey before me will be that passage through the many treatments to reach a physical state of being cancer free and of good health.
The treatments will begin on Monday the 21st of July, almost a month to the day that I found out. I will have both radiation and chemotherapy for 5 weeks, followed by a period of healing of 4 to 6 weeks, then the actual surgery to remove what is left of the tumor followed by another 4 to 6 weeks of healing from the surgery. It may take months or even longer to fully recover my strength and get back to normal activity.
I have found that the treatments seem to scare me much more than the actual cancer.
It is not that I don't fear dying of the cancer, I do. It is that the treatments have so many unknown side affects, and this unknown is what I actually fear. The not knowing, and in many ways not being able to influence these side affects in any way.
So that is the basics of the journey before me. The only way is to pass through this upcoming darkness, this period of the unknown...
